Monday, May 23, 2011

Inside Information

A normally reliable informant tells me that the Magistrates' Association garden at the Chelsea Flower Show was designed in 'consultation' with a committee of civil servants, working to criteria laid down by the Ministry of Justice. The brief included:-

Magistrates to be 'consulted' but thereafter ignored.
Ministers briefed to say nice words about magistrates, but allowed to keep fingers crossed.
Displays arranged to show benefits of heavy pruning.
Weeds to be disposed of simply speedily and summarily. Docks to be heavily cut back.
Advocatus vulgaris to be severely restricted, and above all, not overfed or otherwise encouraged.
Garden laid out to be under the influence of the Sun at all times.
Louise Casey to label displays, using word 'community' in every second sentence. Dead and wilted plants to be labelled as victims, then ignored as before.

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