Friday, January 11, 2013

A Straw In The Wind

This offer from the Stobart group, best known for big green trucks, is fascinating. The bloke in the picture on the site is not wearing a tie (a practice that I deplore, by the way) which is an odd contrast to the fact that Stobart's rise to prominence was helped by the fact that their drivers always wore ties, unlike your stereotypical Eighties trucker. I hope that the Stobarristers wear ties in court, too.

"Your Worships" says the EddyBrief on a dull Monday at Hendon Mags'. "I am about to conclude my client's defence. I hope that I have articulated his case to your satisfaction, and I hope that you appreciate the way that I introduced my submissions with a trailer. The Crown has to carry a heavy load of proof in this case, and I suggest that this  has proved to be beyond M'learned Friend's plated limits. You properly applied the brakes upon some of the Crown's improbable assertions, leaving their legal traction unable to cope.
You will, I hope, notice, that I am properly dressed for court reflecting the Stobart doctrine of Always in The Right Gear."

The Head of Chambers  at  3-4 Claret Lane said: " Suit yourself sonny.  Since we have a huge surplus of young, bright, called-to-the-bar but unemployed wannabe barristers, who haven't an earthly of getting a pupillage, we are about to set up Wiggytrux Plc in competition to Stobart. It's all going our way; young and posh drivers, smart new trucks, and by the way, ours are earning about  half from the law what you pay your greasy-spoon-addicted lardasses, so we are going to drive you to the wall; and don't even think about suing us, because we already have that angle covered".

18 comments:

  1. Thats very good, I think they are trying to take over the world.
    John Gibson

    ReplyDelete
  2. They have trucks and an airport (Southend) so why not? Works for Capita.

    ReplyDelete
  3. If you deplore the practice of wearing ties, you must find every day you spend in court a challenge.

    ReplyDelete
  4. It is the absence of a tie that affronts us.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Am learning that in a class of mature students, the one wearing the tie is naturally assumed to be the professor.

      Delete
    2. What an utterly absurd stance. As though a small flapping piece of material could make any difference, or signify anything of importance.

      I’m amused that you are affronted by the lack of tie.

      I am disturbed that the affront could affect your judgement.

      Delete
    3. Don't worry, Tony, tie or not, no-one is ever likely to take you for a professor!

      Delete
    4. When I last taught a class of mature students, I was the one in the t-shirt.

      Delete
  5. Can we expect to see them rushing up and down the motorway and will the women have to have stupid names?

    ReplyDelete
  6. Its the attempt to misdescribe the role of solicitors that caught my eye when I first saw the web site - "a solicitor can be likened to a GP – a professional generalist who is used to dealing with a variety of problems and passing some of them on to more specialised experts"
    Not true. Most of us are specialists which is why the Bar is trying so hard with Direct Access.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oliver Lost The Will To Practise Law But Called To The Bar16 January 2013 02:22

      The general high-street solicitor can be likened to a GP, surely? Both will offer a practise which attempts to solve a wide range of either medical or legal problems, won't they? And when a case raises tricky legal issues or requires a greater degree of specialism than the high-street solicitor can bring to bear on the matter, a barrister is usually instructed. Isn't this alot like the relationship between GPs and consultants?

      Delete
    2. David Barton is right...even in 'High St' practices, it is rare nowadays for a solicitor to be a 'Jack or Jill of all Trades' - there may be some sole practitioners out there but they are a disappearing breed.

      The Stobart text was patronising in the extreme and based on my Twitter feed which includes many members of the Bar...they're not happy!!

      Delete
    3. Do you mean educated guess work?

      Delete
  7. Oliver Lost The Will To Practise Law But Called To The Bar16 January 2013 02:35

    Where ABSs (alternative business structures allowing Stobart Group to own a legal services business as a result of the Legal Services Act 2007) and ABSs (which I understand is the braking system now used in most haulage vehicles) meet...

    I am one of the many fools who decided to invest in a legal career at the bar. Does haulage work pay better than the £10.83/hour Magic Circle firm document review temporary assignment on which I am currently eking out an existence?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Robert the Biker16 January 2013 15:18

      Yes it does, especially if you work odd hours (time and a half to double time) will do sleep overs, have special ancillary licences (tanker driver, HIAB or Moffet forklift) and are always dependable, you might double that!

      Delete
  8. Somebody's got to pay for the silk's country house and French château. Last time I consulted counsel, back in 2004, it cost me £750 an hour. Worth it though. He picked up on a procedural irregularity that meant the local authority ended up making me a generous settlement for abuse of process and a public apology (so convoluted that only those in the know could have guessed what it was about!).

    If you're any good, you'll get there in the end. Many of us eked out our existences in the early days, in the hope of dividends to come. You're fortunate to be able to afford to invest in your future. Many of those who would like to make a career in the law can't call on the bank of mum & dad or stay in their godparent's London pied-à-terre whilst doing one of the ubiquitous unpaid internships that have become the new back door into the professions.

    In the meantime, don't disdain tribunal work or even appearing in the magistrates' courts. Many are those who have gone on to carve out distinguished legal careers whom I first encountered making sense of a seemingly hopelessly confused employment file having distilled their client's hurt and ill-treatment into compelling legal argument carefully crafted to leave all concerned (the hitherto bullying employer, her payroll firm's hapless solicitors, the lay tribunal members, and above all their client) in no doubt that they had got to the heart of the matter and highlighted the salient points with the lucidity that characterises the best advocates. Often they had picked up the cases through the Bar Pro Bono Unit, and trekked off to Reading for travel costs and an appearance fee that barely covered their day's living costs, but they got invaluable experience on their feet, and never forgot the lessons they learnt there. Likewise in the magistrates' courts, where reputations are often made or broken.

    Good luck, and who knows, with a bit of concentration, you may pick up on a key discrepancy in your document review, and make your name as a sharp, young thing!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is of course a travesty of the Bar. Most barristers earn a middle-class professional amount, many are struggling, and a minority earn very fancy money indeed. This applies to dentists and plumbers too.
      London is now a magnet for the international richerati and these people pay top money for the services they need, be it lawyers, doctors, houses, restaurants, football clubs or whatever.
      I happen to know a couple of Oliver types, who have done their degrees, their BVC, been called, and then, in 75% of cases can't get a pupillage, which means that they are six months short of being able to practise. It isn't fair, and it's a personal disaster, and gibes about country houses don't help.

      Delete
    2. 12 months.

      Delete

Posts are pre-moderated. Please bear with us if this takes a little time, but the number of bores and obsessives was getting out of hand, as were the fake comments advertising rubbish.