When I win the Lottery I shall have the Queen's printers prepare me a document, laid out by the finest graphic artists, and on the most expensive hand-laid parchment.
It will be a re-telling of the tale of "The Little Boy Who Cried Wolf".
Once it has been printed, and bound in calfskin, I shall present a copy to each and every one of the people who control our motorway matrix signs, and urge them to commit it to memory.
For those who even then fail to get the point, may I just say:-
AFTER THE TENTH SPURIOUS WARNING PEOPLE STOP TAKING NOTICE OF YOUR SIGNS! WATCH THE CCTV AND TURN THE BLOODY THINGS OFF WHEN THE EMERGENCY HAS PASSED!
Get it, chaps?
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